Exhausting...

Just had my second paper today. Tired but relieved, not because I did well but because its one paper less to worry about. Read manga when I got home to release stress then slept. Only had 3 hours of sleep last night. Then I got nagged for sleeping whole day. =_=

Anyways, the reason I'm blogging is cause I just feel tired mentally from almost everything...except for my animes. LOL... Just kidding. I mean from this complicated thing called life. All these stupid and insignificant things that makes a person worry. I am so exhausted trying to waste my energy trying to explain some things that people don't even try to listen and understand after all the explanation. Instead they just deny what I'm saying by using either a louder voice or not letting me explain at all. Even when they are the ones asking for an explanation! It's like I was deemed to be wrong right from the start!

I saw this story about a monk asking his disciple why 2 people who are quarreling must raise their voices. His disciple said because they were angry. But the monk said something that really made me think. He asked the same question again. He then explained that why do they need to raise their voices when they are so close? It's not like both sides will not be able to hear what the other is saying if they did not raise their voices. The reason they are doing this is because the distance to their hearts have gotten further. That's why that shout to cover the distance. It really does make sense. I like this story. I am trying not to raise my voice whenever I'm upset but I just can't seem to control myself. I hate being like this.

I have finally found that someone other than 'R' who I can really relate with. 'J' is the reason that I think back and wonder how would I have made it this far in Uni without her help. I really really appreciate what she's done. For all the things that she's helped me with, I don't even know how to thank her. I think so far, she's the only other person who has almost the same thoughts of the explaining part. She thinks its tiring too. Ahhh....finally someone who I can share it with. And I think she will be the only person who I'll be able to talk about really anything. I think her position would even surpass 'R' because although I really open up to him, I just realised that there are somethings that even I would feel embarrassed to tell. I feel much at ease when telling 'J'. I'm just glad and thankful that I have good friends who will be there for me when I need them and even at times when I don't need them. I think they are the reason why I'm still able to move on...as a human being. Thank God!