Regrets. . .

Was stalking again...I'm really starting to think that I'm crazy. I know that he does not go online so often but I still take my chances to catch him online. Well...that didn't go so well. I should have taken up her offer for today's job. I guess crying over spilt potion isn't gonna be of any use but I need to say it to someone or express this feeling somewhere.

Recently, I feel that I've been relying on you too much and I think it must really hurt when you're pretending to be alright and giving advice when you aren't all right. That's why I'm trying to not bother you over really insignificant things like these by blogging rather than texting you. & I obviously can't text him either. I sometimes wonder if I was being insensitive when I keep telling you about him when you feel hurt over her. I'm sorry but I felt that I needed to tell someone and you were the one I was comfortable enough to talk about the subject.

Going back to the stalking, I saw some new photos uploaded and I decided to browse through. I would have actually meet him if I had taken up her offer!! ='(

AND to think i was the one who gave up that opportunity!!

I really want to know him better. He has NOTHING written in his info and he didn't even put his birthday! I've only dared to text him thrice. The 1st was using an excuse to say Happy New Year. The 2nd time was to ask about MPW by sending the message to two people so it wouldn't seem suspicious or weird I guess? And the 3rd one was to ask about degree results! (Not to mention that the alcohol that probably was still in my body helped to boost my courage) OMG! I feel so stupid right now. He probably thinks I'm some kind of a annoying and irritating freak who keeps texting him for no reason. Really, WHAT was I thinking?! I think I'm not that much of a friend to him that he would consider texting me for fun.

I should stop this but I just can't help it. ='C

God? Someone? Help me? Please??

It's the Weekends!

Before I forget, I'm gonna abandon my old blog and start using this one because the old one was getting too messy. XD

Finally! It's Friday. The last day of the most unbearable week of MPW lessons. And to think that I still have 5 more weeks to endure! This morning's Moral studies drained the last of my effort to stay awake in class. It was basically taught by a human female version of Professor Binns from Harry Potter who teaches History of Magic at Hogwarts. She just kept droning the whole lecture. To top it off, she looked like she was talking in her sleep. She seems like a nice lady but the way she teaches really sucks the life out of me.

To kill time, I texted Russ asking him if he has a way to stay awake in class and his reply was "Just sleep lah!".=.=lll So, I took out my headset and listened to music on my phone. After a few text messages I looked up from my phone and saw the slide showing on the screen. The last few sentences was an example of the lecture and it read:
i.e: come to class on time and to pay attention instead of talking, playing or sleeping while the lecturer is teaching.
When I saw this, I felt a pang of guilt...it was like it was a sign from God asking me to pay attention. I guess I'll sleep earlier and try my best not to be hypnotized into falling asleep by her voice.

Well, at least I did get something useful from this morning's lecture.
She said: "Holding a person's hand is the best way to show them you care."
It really is true.
Parents hold their child's hand to keep them out of harm's way.
Friends hold hands to show that they'll always be there for each other.
Couples hold hands to make each other feel secure.
(Well, for as long as they're together, I guess...)
So, next time you want someone to feel that you care, just hold their hands.

The music I'm listening to now really suits this "holding hands" moment. I recommend Personal Taste's OST. Its a Korean romantic comedy and its really nice to watch. (For me. =D) Listening to this suddenly makes me miss EL. Maybe I might just take up Russell's advice and ask him out or something. Better to try than to regret not trying. Right? But...I wonder if I have enough courage to do it. HYH and DK aint in Kuching and he might feel awkward with my friends. Maybe I should wait til everyone is back. I hope I'll see him soon. =P