Randomness....

Today is Good Friday. And I realised that I'm the one making my own life complicated. In fact, I'm making it more complicated as I blog!

I know life isn't easy. And I guess I learnt that the hard way. Going to work as a part - timer in an audit firm DOES NOT help in making my life any easier. + Degree really sucks the life out of me. Then there's the HIM & HER situation. Haiz...

I know that things ain't gonna work out for me but I still wanna go out with the D gang (ask me if U wanna noe what's D gang). I guess its still because of him? I just can't get over it yet. BUT I feel so fake around her. I keep smiling and teasing her with him even when I just want to turn around and leave. I guess its still my fault because she does not know that I like him too.

Russ keeps telling me to leave her and have nothing to do with her but I don't know why I still have that wanting to be around her. Probably because of him too? I think its because of her that the distance between me & him is getting shorter but just as normal friends.

Hah! I wanted to know him better before I made any moves but I guess its just a little too late. Guess I can still use this opportunity to know him. Even if its just as a friend.

Bleh.

Special Post For Them Special People in my Life ^^

This post is dedicated to 2 of my bestest best friends in my life.

To Sam, my best friend since primary school. I remember that I called you "Se-mata" in primary 2. I don't remember how we became best friends but i'm glad we did. Because of you, I got to listen to Britney Spears. Remember how we'd sing her songs in class, during recess and even when we're going down the stairs? Because of you, I found Harry Potter. I still remember when I lost my prefect tie and I called you and cried about it. And then there's that other time where I called you because I coughed up bloody saliva. That was funny now I look back at it.

Happy Belated Birthday Girl!! Don't know how I'd make it if I never met you. Thank You for everything! I love you. =)

The second part is to my other bestest best guy friend who is currently in Melbourne. He's a sweet, talented guy without a temper. He's someone who I can pour all my secrets into and he'll just listen and give advice. He really is the "Super Star" who gets all the special attention in our group.

I've found him to be a quiet boy back in primary school and my mum said that he looked like Harry Potter. He really does! When he was younger. Now more handsome dyy. (Just to make you happy since it is your birthday. XD) I want to thank you too for being there for me when I needed to talk about "him". Did I mention that you give good advice? Thanks a bunch. Thanks for ever having a crush on me. Never thought that guys would ever like a girl like me but you made my day with that post of yours. 1st time ever to read a post and cry. I really feel honored.

Here, I wanna wish you Happy Birthday, Good Luck and God Bless!! Am missing you lots!

XOXO, Angelina. MUAKS y'all!

It's a start

Remember I the time I would rant on about him and thinking that things would never go my way?

Well, today it did! Had a 3.30pm lecture and I slept till 12pm. I'm a pig. =_= Never mind that.

After I called my dad asking him to send me to school, I got a call from Jerome and he asked if I was free tonight? The drama gang was going for a movie and he was going. I didn't even asked my parents and I said yes.

Went there and was kinda late and the first person to see me was "him". I was actually apologizing for being late by using sign language but I think he thought I was waving because he waved at me. LOL. It was nothing really but way better than Harry Potter 7 because this time he was sitting 2 seats from my right. I could hear his voice and see his hands.(Don't know why but I recognized his hands when I saw them.)

The movie felt kinda long and after we finished the movie, every one went home. I'm glad I listened to Jerome because he asked me to park outside. I did and "he" was following Jerome's car home. Although it was just a really short walk to the car park, it made me happy(the feeling is hard to explain). I talked the most, ranting on and on, followed by Jerome's occasional laugh plus "his" silence. Finally, we part ways as I reached my car first. I said bye and Jerome replied the same. Then, "he" also said bye too! I turned to answer the same and I saw his smile. Almost melted! @_@ I said bye and when I got in the car I did a little squeal. I have no idea where that came from but it was all good.

Russ, you do give good advice. Get close to his friends. Lucky me because Jerome is already my friend. =P Like you said, this is a good start.

The Irony.

I think I'm going mad soon. Or maybe I already am. Geez~

Went to Uni as usual and when it ended, I was at block B waiting for my car. Two of my friends, Chloe and Kim came over and we chatted a while. I thought my mum was not coming so soon and we went to the cafeteria because Chloe wanted to grab something to eat. When we almost reached the cafeteria, I turned and said, "Please don't tell me I walked all the way here just to receive a phone call from my mum telling me that she's here." The 3 of us just laughed. As soon as I stepped out of Block G, my phone rang, and Chloe had a shocked expression when she said, "Don't tell me that's your mum?" AND guess what? It was! Exactly as I said. As I walked back to the main entrance, Kim said: "Angie, next time, don't jinx yourself!" Come to think of it, it was kinda funny.

Then I reached the outside of Block B where my car was waiting and when I was about to reach my car, another car stopped beside mine. I thought I was imagining stuff and it was HIM!! I actually deliberately put my backpack in the car first so I could buy a little time and somewhere in me I was hoping he would notice me. But... he didn't. ='( As I sat in the car, I actually took note of his car and the car plate number. =___= I am so sick! 4 numbers that are stuck in my head but I think I've jumbled them up...8497...Why?!

I did wish to at least see him once everyday but now I'm getting greedy.

This is so confusing!

Fate or Coincidence?

Last day of MPW and the commencement of degree. I'll just fast forward to the part where I was late for my supposed to be 2nd lecture but actually was my first because I had to skip the actual 1st lecture to sit for the Moral exam. LOL. That was a long and quite confusing sentence.

So, after the exam I went home and then I watched Bleach & One Piece. I even made a mental note so I'll get to Uni earlier. Apparently, even my brain too was hypnotized by the anime I was watching because it altered my eyes so when I looked at the clock, I saw that it was still way too early to go. Suddenly, my mum yelled and asked : "Ana! Lu bo tak chek hia???" I was so full of myself at the time and I answered : "4.30pm la!" She said: "Lu si siaw ha? Si diam pua chut liao!" And I was like OMG! So I rushed and my mum asked me to drive since it was just an hour lecture.

When I reached, I saw him! He had that cute expression on his face and for a moment there I thought he either recognized my car or actually saw me. I seriously thought of waving to him but luckily I caught myself before I did. It would be so embarrassing if I waved and he just frowned or if he did not see me. =___= Besides, I was too busy acting cool blasting music in the car. WHY THE HELL DIDN'T I WAVE??? IDIOT!? What's life without taking chances? I regret it so much now. ='( My hand was coming up but my brain was trying to control and stop my body from doing what it was doing by instinct. My brain won the war and left me regretting about it.

But, just getting a glimpse of him made my heart skip a beat and I smiled for no reason like an idiot after I took a right turning. I did not dare to even look at the rear view mirror because I think if I did, I'd have crashed into the signs and cones at the side of the road. Pitiful huh.

I did think of seeing him today since it is the commencement of degree but I tried to not put my hopes up because every time I do, I just get disappointed more. I wanna dedicate this song to anyone reading this and HIM... Though I know he won't be reading this.

Kimi Ni Todoke by May

Here's the link. I can't upload the video. =____=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEvX1EhBN0E&feature=related

Douka ima dake wa furimukanaide

Yuugure sawagu kaze fure sou na kyori

Kimi wo mitsumeteru zutto

Kimi ni todoke kimi ni todoke

Kanawanai koi de mo ii kizutsuite mo ii

Nan do demo tsutaetai

Kimi ga suki de kimi ga suki de

Nemurenai yoru demo ii

Asa ga konakute mo ii

Nan do demo tsutaetai kimi ni todoke

Kyou mo omoide ga hitotsu fueteku

Tame iki tame rai sae itoshii kurai

Kimi wo matte ita zutto

Kimi ni todoke kimi ni todoke

Kanawanai koi de mo ii

Kizutsuite mo ii

Nan do demo tsutaetai

Kimi ga suki de kimi ga suki de

Nemurenai yoru demo ii

Asa ga konakute mo ii

Nan do demo tsutaetai kimi ni todoke

Kimi ni todoke kimi ni todoke

Kanawanai koi de mo ii

Kizutsuite mo ii

Nan do demo tsutaetai

Kimi ga suki de kimi ga suki de

Nemurenai yoru demo ii

Asa ga konakute mo ii

Nan do demo tsutaetai kimi ni todoke

Translation

Please, just for now, please don't turn around

The evening, the rustling wind, the distance of us nearly touching
I could keep looking at you, forever
I'm reaching to you, I'm reaching to you
Even an unrequited love would be fine, to get hurt too would be fine
No matter how many times, I want to tell you
I like you, I like you
Even sleepless nights would be fine,

If morning didn't come it would be fine

No matter how many times, I want to tell you,

I'm reaching to you

Today too, my memories of you increase

Your sigh, even if it's only a hesitation, is still dear to me

I have waited for you, forever

I'm reaching to you, I'm reaching to you

Even an unrequited love would be fine,

To get hurt too would be fine

No matter how many times, I want to tell you

I like you, I like you

Even sleepless nights would be fine,

If morning didn't come it would be fine

No matter how many times, I want to tell you,

I'm reaching to you

I'm reaching to you, I'm reaching to you

Even an unrequited love would be fine,

To get hurt too would be fine

No matter how many times, I want to tell you

I like you, I like you

Even sleepless nights would be fine,

If morning didn't come it would be fine

No matter how many times, i want to tell you,

I'm reaching to you…

P.S :This was supposed to be posted yesterday, 21st of Feb but there was technical errors so here it is...

Gone Are The Days...

Just came back from the airport after sending my bestest best friend off. His original 6am flight was cancelled and replaced with a 5.30pm flight. And to think I only had 3 hours of sleep just to make sure I send him off. LOL. I've started to miss him already. You come back for 2 months and after I get use to you being here physically you got to leave again...Life kinda sucks when that happens. But we'll see each other again. Soon. I hope.

Thinking back, I miss those days when all of us would just sit in class and talk. We always have silly things and experiences to talk about and share with each other. Whenever we get together, we usually stray away from the main topic. From "where are are going this afternoon", we could end up talking about what someone else's dog likes to eat and still have no idea where to go in the afternoon. I'm gonna REALLY miss these times.

Wen says that she won't be able to go out anymore because of her STPM coming up and as for me, I guess you going away is kinda a good thing now because now I can seriously concentrate on my health plan!!! NO MORE outside foods! I'll replace my meals twice a day starting tomorrow! I've also got to start saving money so I can go to KL and work on that business opportunity that allows me to go to JAPAN!!! NIHON WO MATE KUDASAI!!! I pray that I'm gonna be someone new and better when you come back! Perhaps an Audi R8 or a BMW Z4?? Haha...

I'm so tired now...Guess I'll go for a nap...=D

Regrets. . .

Was stalking again...I'm really starting to think that I'm crazy. I know that he does not go online so often but I still take my chances to catch him online. Well...that didn't go so well. I should have taken up her offer for today's job. I guess crying over spilt potion isn't gonna be of any use but I need to say it to someone or express this feeling somewhere.

Recently, I feel that I've been relying on you too much and I think it must really hurt when you're pretending to be alright and giving advice when you aren't all right. That's why I'm trying to not bother you over really insignificant things like these by blogging rather than texting you. & I obviously can't text him either. I sometimes wonder if I was being insensitive when I keep telling you about him when you feel hurt over her. I'm sorry but I felt that I needed to tell someone and you were the one I was comfortable enough to talk about the subject.

Going back to the stalking, I saw some new photos uploaded and I decided to browse through. I would have actually meet him if I had taken up her offer!! ='(

AND to think i was the one who gave up that opportunity!!

I really want to know him better. He has NOTHING written in his info and he didn't even put his birthday! I've only dared to text him thrice. The 1st was using an excuse to say Happy New Year. The 2nd time was to ask about MPW by sending the message to two people so it wouldn't seem suspicious or weird I guess? And the 3rd one was to ask about degree results! (Not to mention that the alcohol that probably was still in my body helped to boost my courage) OMG! I feel so stupid right now. He probably thinks I'm some kind of a annoying and irritating freak who keeps texting him for no reason. Really, WHAT was I thinking?! I think I'm not that much of a friend to him that he would consider texting me for fun.

I should stop this but I just can't help it. ='C

God? Someone? Help me? Please??