Its Time.

Heck. I really think it is time. Time for me to just give up. If it was going to work, it would have worked a long time ago. Decided this after the D gang walked to Russ' relative's place for dinner. It hurts like hell but I think this is for the better good. For me and for them.

Ling, Shir and me went to Ipoh Kopitiam and I suddenly told them I've decided to just give up. Ling might be right. She said I might have just told myself that I like him but actually I don't like him. Shirley began lecturing me about how a guy like him, even if he likes me, would not be of any good cause of his moves. I don't think I can stand seeing them that intimate in front of me anymore. I wanna tell them so they'd know and stop doing that but it is their right to do whatever hell they want where ever and when ever they want.

Now...come to think about it. I might have just fitted in the group cause I can drive. I don't mean that the others are using me but the way HE puts it makes me feel that Im just "wanted" cz I could drive them around when He is lazy. I guess I don't mind driving them around but I guess the truth really hurts. Its not like he wants to see me so he asks me to drive. Its just a person more to help him send the others back. I don't find sending them back troublesome. Just....don't say it like that.

Maybe I should take up my mum's offer to go to KL. I might be able to forget all this easier. If I could go to Australia it would be EVEN better!!! Russell can bring me everywhere and we can have hungry jacks and talk till the moon turns blue. T_T

I pray that God will give me the strength to forget about all this. Being with the lot is real fun, just that everytime I see them so lovey - dovey, I can't help feeling that jab in my chest and the vines of jealousy just creeps up and suffocates my heart. Never felt this way before. So if Ling is right, WHY do I feel this way?

OKAY!! ENOUGH OF MY CRAP!!! STUDY MODE SWITCHED ON!! NO MORE THINKING OF THIS NEGATIVE THOUGHT!!!! FIGHTO!!!! GANBATTE!!! I CAN DO THIS. ACE MY FINALS AND THEN I CAN 3MO ALL I WANT WITH FLYING COLOURS!!! 4HD'S!!!!!!! WHOO HOO!!!!